HOW DO I LOVE THEE KITTY
by
Randy C. Watts (480) 343-3868
I have been told that it is fun to own a cat. I have heard stories of people who claim to enjoy the time they spend with their feline companions. I guess that this is the reason that I let my eleven-year-old son keep the cat they gave him at the pet store when he accompanied his sister to buy a bird. The mere fact that they gave him the cat should have been my first clue. Nonetheless, I gave in and told him he could keep it.
Let me share with you some of the things I love most about our new pet "Rains:"
* I love the way he purrs as I stroke his soft coat of fur.
* I love to watch the kitty as he playfully jumps for the end of a piece of string or thread when it's dangled in front of his darling little cat-face.
* I love the way he contorts himself into the funniest positions to sleep in.
* I love to arise at five a.m. to the sound of his constant meowing for milk.
* When I arise to get that milk, I love the way he deliberately walks between my feet to remind me why I have risen. I also love the way that this gentle reminder trips me up and makes me fall headfirst into the pantry door, causing a mild concussion. And, even though I am lying on the kitchen floor bleeding, he continues to rub his begging little tail in my face, still screaming for the bowl of milk!
* I think it's so cute the way our kitty buries his needle-like claws into the face of my stereo speaker covers, scratching furiously as though he may actually get to the singing artist inside. The claw marks are so attractive on the fabric when it is done. And isn’t it great that the speaker covers are too old and ragged for the cat now, and that my new leather furniture has captured his interest? And funniest of all is the fact that the carpet scratching post that I purchased to support this adorable behavior remains, to this date, unscathed.
* I love the fact that spring is here, and that Rains is now shedding that lovely coat of fur. I find these fine hairs on the bottom of my socks, on my pillow, on my tattered speaker covers, on my leather furniture, and in my corn flakes. I love how these special remnants make my dark wool suit look like an angora sweater.
* I love to watch Rains as he opens his mouth wide and begins to heave his body uncontrollably forward in anticipation of producing a whole ball of that very hair of which I was just writing.
* And the litter box. Ah yes, not only do I love the smell of it, I also love the way that my children seem to think that maybe the cat can just reach over and flush the freaking thing each time he leaves a little cat prize within!
I guess that I should not be complaining. After all, the animal was free. I only had to pay $60.00 for the shots at the vet, $45.00 for the kitty litter (thus far), $45.00 for dry cat food, $23.00 for moist tuna packets because the cat doesn’t like the dry stuff, $5.00 for a flea collar, $129.00 for the exterminator man because the flea collar didn’t work, and several miscellaneous charges for bowls, litter boxes, and rubber accessories such as mice, balls and stereo cords.
I have learned that cats have a whole different set of values than we humans. For instance, if Rains should approach his litter box and find that it has not been recently cleaned, this does not bother our little guy . . . oh, no. He just hops happily back into the family room and finds his favorite little spot of the carpet between the couch and love seat, directly underneath the end table, and goes forth with his business. I guess if I were to visit … oh, let’s say my in-laws, and I had to use the facilities, I would go into the bathroom. If, heaven forbid, I should find that the toilet had not been flushed, I would probably flush it and proceed as planned. I cannot see myself hopping back into the living room to leave a special gift "a la Rains" style beside their credenza.
What I like most about Rains is imagining what pet I could have purchased for over $350.00 that would have brought me just as much joy. Maybe a scorpion, a snake, a bat, or even a fury brown tarantula.
I have heard that it is fun to own a cat … well, I’m waiting!
by
Randy C. Watts (480) 343-3868
I have been told that it is fun to own a cat. I have heard stories of people who claim to enjoy the time they spend with their feline companions. I guess that this is the reason that I let my eleven-year-old son keep the cat they gave him at the pet store when he accompanied his sister to buy a bird. The mere fact that they gave him the cat should have been my first clue. Nonetheless, I gave in and told him he could keep it.Let me share with you some of the things I love most about our new pet "Rains:"
* I love the way he purrs as I stroke his soft coat of fur.
* I love to watch the kitty as he playfully jumps for the end of a piece of string or thread when it's dangled in front of his darling little cat-face.
* I love the way he contorts himself into the funniest positions to sleep in.
* I love to arise at five a.m. to the sound of his constant meowing for milk.
* When I arise to get that milk, I love the way he deliberately walks between my feet to remind me why I have risen. I also love the way that this gentle reminder trips me up and makes me fall headfirst into the pantry door, causing a mild concussion. And, even though I am lying on the kitchen floor bleeding, he continues to rub his begging little tail in my face, still screaming for the bowl of milk!
* I think it's so cute the way our kitty buries his needle-like claws into the face of my stereo speaker covers, scratching furiously as though he may actually get to the singing artist inside. The claw marks are so attractive on the fabric when it is done. And isn’t it great that the speaker covers are too old and ragged for the cat now, and that my new leather furniture has captured his interest? And funniest of all is the fact that the carpet scratching post that I purchased to support this adorable behavior remains, to this date, unscathed.
* I love the fact that spring is here, and that Rains is now shedding that lovely coat of fur. I find these fine hairs on the bottom of my socks, on my pillow, on my tattered speaker covers, on my leather furniture, and in my corn flakes. I love how these special remnants make my dark wool suit look like an angora sweater.
* I love to watch Rains as he opens his mouth wide and begins to heave his body uncontrollably forward in anticipation of producing a whole ball of that very hair of which I was just writing.
* And the litter box. Ah yes, not only do I love the smell of it, I also love the way that my children seem to think that maybe the cat can just reach over and flush the freaking thing each time he leaves a little cat prize within!
I guess that I should not be complaining. After all, the animal was free. I only had to pay $60.00 for the shots at the vet, $45.00 for the kitty litter (thus far), $45.00 for dry cat food, $23.00 for moist tuna packets because the cat doesn’t like the dry stuff, $5.00 for a flea collar, $129.00 for the exterminator man because the flea collar didn’t work, and several miscellaneous charges for bowls, litter boxes, and rubber accessories such as mice, balls and stereo cords.
I have learned that cats have a whole different set of values than we humans. For instance, if Rains should approach his litter box and find that it has not been recently cleaned, this does not bother our little guy . . . oh, no. He just hops happily back into the family room and finds his favorite little spot of the carpet between the couch and love seat, directly underneath the end table, and goes forth with his business. I guess if I were to visit … oh, let’s say my in-laws, and I had to use the facilities, I would go into the bathroom. If, heaven forbid, I should find that the toilet had not been flushed, I would probably flush it and proceed as planned. I cannot see myself hopping back into the living room to leave a special gift "a la Rains" style beside their credenza.
What I like most about Rains is imagining what pet I could have purchased for over $350.00 that would have brought me just as much joy. Maybe a scorpion, a snake, a bat, or even a fury brown tarantula.
I have heard that it is fun to own a cat … well, I’m waiting!
I HATE CATS!!!!! nuff said
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